First, let me apologize in advance for the next four months where I will be incessantly posting about my achievement with running. This isn’t me bragging, this is me encouraging myself to keep going, run past the voices and to stay motivated. You have my FULL permission to tune me out 🙂
Running wise, this weekend was an adventure to say the least. Friday morning I woke up and ran for about 30 mins with my pup (which I already posted about). Saturday, I ran with the Core Run Buddies at 7:30am and did a 5K. I got out of bed thinking: PFFFFFT, I did a 10K, this is going to be a walk in the park!
False Lisa, False.
The whole time doing the run was like a World War in my head. Starting off was okay, but I felt creaky and slow so I moved to the back of the pack (well, the pack of 4 of us). The whole time I wanted to stop and walk/turn back/quit. I felt like a total failure. “I can’t even do a 5K, how am I going to do 21.1 KM” You know…that kind of stuff.
By the time I finished, I felt like poo (See Homer), but did take solace in the fact I had finished the whole thing. However, I was afraid of the next day. Anne and I have made Sunday our “Run Day” where we crank out a bunch of KM. I. Was. TERRIFIED.
What an amazing run it was. We ran a little slower than Saturday, but went 13KM in 1hr 40min and although it was tough, it was SO much better than the run on Saturday.
It’s all mental. My god, running is so mental. When I run with Anne, I don’t want to stop because SHE knows that I can keep going and I know that I can keep going, so I just keep going. I think “Do I need to stop or do I WANT to? Why do I want to?” Whenever I was thinking that I say “Ok, run to that next pole and see if you want to stop there” then I start looking around me at nature and the beauty of everything and before I know it, I’ve passed the pole and THEN some. Then I get bored so I want to stop again. I go through this whole process again. I also focus on my breath and think about how much stronger my legs are getting from the run. Again, I pass that pole. Through the whole thing I only had to walk (or adjust me speed, as Anne says) 2 times.
When we finished, I felt like a million bucks. Not because we ran 13K (which I was pretty excited about) but because I beat my mind. I kicked out the defeating voices and filled my head with positivity and nature and calmness. It was a slow, long run, but it was SO amazing. I CAN do this, I WILL do this and you know what, I think I MIGHT actually enjoy it!