Understanding our Weight Negativity.

From "Mind Body Green"
Image Source: “Mind Body Green”

I need to rant for a moment here.

Something I’ve been wondering for awhile…when we meet someone or see someone, why is weight one of the first things we notice? I’ve done it, you’ve done it, if you say you haven’t you’re lying. I mean sure, it’s an obvious physical trait that we can see immediately,

Not only that, when we make this observation, there seems to be a negative association with the weight and ESPECIALLY when we notice someone has gained weight? I mean, sure, Weight gain CAN often mean someone is not happy. It can mean something is off in their life. I totally get that, but still.

What REALLY got me thinking about this recently was all of the fat shaming that has been going on around Kelly Clarkson & Pink. Both have had a baby, neither has “lost the weight” & everyone is all “Whoa, they got fat” One reporter even went so far to say “She needs to lay off the deep dish pizza” and “That’s not baby weight, it’s just fat” about Kelly Clarkson.

First, who the fuck cares. I mean really. Why do we automatically assume she’s just stuffing her face with shit and isn’t trying to loose weight. Guess what? You can eat extremely healthy food and be “fat” too.

Second – and this would be crazy, maybe she’s just happy the way she is? Would this be such a bad thing?

Now listen – I get carrying extra weight leads to many maladies. Diabetes, high cholesterol, arthritis, cancer, the works. I know all these things. Smokers also know that cigarettes lead to cancer. It’s an addiction (that’s a discussion all in itself).

Anyway, this is what really grinds my gears – just why? Why does it matter? So what if we’re overweight. Why do we REALLY care. I mean aside from the obvious big bad media and the health issues, there is something inside (most of) us that just feels bad about being overweight.

For me, weight has always been in my head. When I lost weight, I got praise, when I gained weight, it was always “Maybe you should cut back on the sweets” I’ve always craved praise. Praise kept me going throughout my life, up until recently. I needed that approval from others to make me feel better about myself. Being thin & losing weight GOT me that approval.

Here’s the funny thing – I’ve been “thin” a few times in my life. The kicker? The issues that have/had been haunting me were STILL THERE even when I was thin. My life really didn’t change just because I was smaller. Nothing magical happened. Even worse, I didn’t feel ANY better about myself. I may have felt a little smug that I had lost the weight, but that was it.

The most recent time I lost weight was after doing Whole30 (go read about it, I HIGHLY recommend this program). At the end of it, I felt freaking AMAZING but NOT because I lost weight. It was because I was eating well, working out and sleeping. I was still FAR from thin, but I’d never felt better. In fact, I felt beautiful. Here’s why – I was taking care of myself. ALL of myself. Putting good food in my body, exercising, meditating, sleeping. I was taking care on a physical & mental level.

Now, here is what I want you to do – If you struggle with your weight & feel down about your body, I want you to challenge you to think about WHY being “thin” means so much to you. What would that mean to you if you were “thin” How would your life change? Would it really make you feel better about yourself (spoiler: it won’t). Really THINK about it & please feel free to share your answers with me. We’re all in this together.

Also – if you need some inspiration, I highly suggest reading this beautiful post by my friend Alex who summed up things up perfectly: The Battle I Choose Not to Fight


One thought on “Understanding our Weight Negativity.

  1. Each time I’ve been at a lower weight it’s true, my problems haven’t gone away BUT I do feel better because I’m taking better care of myself. I have more energy, I feel stronger, healthier, more vibrant and I’m generally happier. The biggest difference to me besides this, was that I wasn’t constantly thinking about how awkward I felt in my own body. When I’m heavier (like now) I am always aware of how my clothes are hanging, whether I need to readjust my clothing, the way I’m sitting or standing, etc. it’s tiring! Those thoughts are cut in half when I’m at a lower weight. Just think of all the other things I can think of with all that spare thought time… like… food! 😉


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